It’s so easy to lose yourself in a relationship. I am sure we have all been there a time or two. And we don’t just mean relationships with your significant other. You can lose yourself in relationships with your children, your family – hell, you can even lose yourself in your relationship with your job!
So, following Jen’s divorce post last week, it seemed appropriate to touch on a subject that is easy to ignore for most women as they are always so busy making everyone else happy they forget to make themselves happy. We are firm believers in finding ways to make yourself happy before being able to make others happy. Here are some tips that we’ve learned over the years when we find ourselves slipping into old habits:
Figure out what makes you happy – introduce or reintroduce yourself to new things
This seems like an easy task, but when life is filled up with little tasks, it all adds up, and before you know it, it’s the end of the week you’re burnt out and have done nothing for yourself. Does coffee by yourself make you happy? A new book, perhaps? Binge-watching a show with unlimited snacks? Working out? A cooking class? The possibilities are endless once it comes to little boosts, and they are so easy to add to your regular routine.
Make time for friends
Making time for friends without your partner or kids is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. When we are out with our kids, it’s almost guaranteed that we can’t completely relax and “let our hair down” because we always have our eye on our children. The same thing applies with your partner, yes we all should be completely comfortable with our partners. But, let’s be real; it’s an entirely different dynamic when we are with our girls! Time with our closest friends allows us to just be us, not a mom, not a wife, just Cara and Jen, and sometimes that’s just what we need.
Ensure you are still pursuing your own goals
As women, most of us are taught to be strong, independent, and build a family. As we get older, a lot of emphasis is placed on building a family. The problem is, once we start our “family,” everything else usually gets put on the back burner, and for some, it stays there. We get complacent and then find ourselves unhappy that we didn’t achieve the goals we once set out on as young adults. It’s all about balance and having the right partner or “village” by your side to remind you where you came from and motivate and encourage you to get where you want to go, is so vital to helping you achieve your goals.
Eat the burger!
This is said in full seriousness as Jen has done this many times (when she ate meat). Have you ever found yourself, at home in desperate need of a break or “me time,” and there is nowhere in the house to escape? Well, if you’re able to leave your home, get in the car or walk to your nearest fast food place. Order a burger and have a 30-min dinner ALONE because you most likely deserve it and will be able to go back feeling a little lighter…figuratively not physically, haha!
Don’t comprise (on the biggies, just the smalls)
All relationships require compromise, but when you start compromising on the big things or things that turn you resentful, then that’s when you’ve gone too far. They will eventually make you hate yourself or feel overlooked. If you don’t speak up, nothing will change.
Now obviously, this list could go on much longer! But, these are the top five tips that have helped us over the years, and we hope they will help remind you not to lose yourself too!