If you were asked the question – Do you think of yourself as a confident woman and why? How would you answer it?
I would say, yes, I am a confident woman. Why? Because at 37 years old, I know who I am, and I am happy with who I am. I also know what I want out of this life, and I am willing to put in the work and dedication that it will take me to get there.
However, I don’t think that I was always confident. It was a journey and a process to become the woman I am today. For most people, confidence doesn’t come naturally. Many people struggle with it, especially in today’s society, where everything you do can be easily scrutinized, making it extremely difficult for people to gain confidence.
So, I wanted to share a few tips that helped me along the way… in hopes that they may help you along your journey to being truly confident
1. Be true to who you are
One of the first things I learned to do is believe in myself and fully embrace who I am. For many years, I tended to hold back from showing my true self for fear of others’ judgment. I had this preconceived notion that I needed to be a certain way in public or at work.
But eventually, I simply stopped caring what other people think of me. Because what really matters is what I think of myself, and as long as I am being true to who I am and love myself first, it doesn’t matter what other people think about me.
We need to stop hiding our true selves. Now I don’t mean to go blabbing your most intimate details (unless you feel compelled to do so). But you should share your flaws, share your weakness, no one is perfect, and if you pretend to be, you will lose confidence in who truly are
2. Don’t compare yourself to others
I know it’s easier said than done. Because I am guilty of is comparing myself to others. Women, especially (and men too) tend to compare everything their looks, body shape, jobs, and possessions to others – But, it is a sure-fire way to kill your self-confidence.
So, keep reminding yourself that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Instead, take that energy and re-focus it on all the things that make you and your life extraordinary. Because we really have no clue what is going on in the other person’s life, it may look good on the outside, but they too could be hiding their true selves from you.
3. Stop the negative self-talk
We are our own worst critic; it’s honestly one of the biggest hurdles that I have had to overcome. To help me combat this, I made a list of five things I love about myself on the inside and five things on the outside.
Now, let me tell you, it wasn’t easy to do. I feel like I have a tough time expressing why I love myself. I could give you a mile-long list of why I love my husband, my daughter or my family. But I really struggled with coming up with 10 reasons why I loved myself.
However, now that I have this list. I find it very useful anytime I start to go down the path of negativity. I take out my list (which is saved on my phone), read it, and remind myself just how awesome I am.
4. Surround yourself with confident people
I genuinely believe that if you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, then your aura will be that much more positive. And I don’t just mean your friends whom you see in person (well, at least you did pre-Covid). I also mean the people that you follow on social media.
Earlier this year, I did a social media cleanout. I did it, not because I think social media is bad, because I actually think if used right, it can be really good for you. I have met and made connections with so many amazing women through social media. But, I did the cleanout because it was important to only follow positive accounts aligned with my interests and values. Some have different viewpoints than mine (which is important for the diversity of thought), but they are all positive accounts and want positive outcomes in the world.
5. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
How often do you try new things? Over the past few years, I have really pushed myself to try new things that force me to step outside my comfort zone. For example, I was terrified of lifting heavy weights at the gym for fear of what other people would say or that I would get injured. So, I never did it. Then quarantine happened, and I started Stephanie Sanzo’s Build Program on the Sweat app. I started from the bottom, and 15 weeks later, I can lift weights that are heavy AF and I am posting it on social media for the world to see. Stepping out of my comfort zone gave me a whole new level of empowerment and confidence!
Another way to help you get comfortable with being uncomfortable is to try one new thing that scares you every day – there a great “book” well journal called “Do one thing a day that scares you” that can help you do this. I think it’s a fun challenge that you can look back on a year from now and see how far you’ve come.
6. Wardrobe makeover
I don’t want to focus on the physical, but let’s not forget that how we look plays a huge part in how we feel. So, why not give your closet a makeover, buy a few new pieces that make you look good, feel good and, most importantly, love the skin that you are in. I do this a few times a year and it really helps me to feel good and gives me an extra confidence boost.
Anyone that follows us on social media knows how important exercise is to me. I truly fell in love with exercise over this past year, as it has really helped me improve my mental state during this incredibly trying year.
The other thing that is great about exercise is that it allows you to set goals. Now, they don’t have to weight loss goals. It could be a fitness ability-based goal such as 10 pushups on your toes, squatting your own bodyweight or just doing 100 crunches. Whatever your goals are, if you track your progress, it will help to build your confidence as you see yourself improve. It may even encourage you to work even harder to achieve them (win-win).
8. Encourage confidence in others
Last but certainly not least to the ability to encourage confidence in others. Part of the reason why Jen and I share our personal stories with you all is to let you know that no one is perfect. We all have our struggles, but if you remain confident and true to who you are, you can still excel in life. But we also have made it a point to feature other women that inspire us, as it helps to boost their confidence too because they know that what they are doing is making a difference in someone’s life.
I hope these tips help you and remember to always be confident enough to encourage confidence in others.